I was conspiracy evolved.
The sun beamed hard on my face. Begging me to greet the day. I awoke and stumbled over to my computer. I was a member of a very popular social media network and so were many others that I worked with. I was friends with over 40 of the mindless drones. This was how we kept in contact outside of work.
I was also friends with some of the experts. We never spoke much outside of work. I didn't mind it. Outside of the job, they were normal people just like me. But they still had a hidden pride about them. They can read everything I write. Vice versa. News broke on the feed about a big morning experts meeting. It was supposed to have been the biggest in the city. I watched them discuss on the Internet.
"Experts meeting? The fuck is this?" I asked myself groggily.
Expert 4: going to this big experts meeting. Ugh, really don't wanna go!
Expert 2: expert meeting. I should be in bed sleeping!
Expert 6: guys does my hair? look gotta get ready for the experts meeting?
From what I read, it was a grand summit in which all of the elite in the city come together and discuss matters such as how to gain more and more power. How to maintain the iron fist and further complicate the crew and cause chaos and disarray.
It sounded like fun.
My eyes were still getting used to the light from the morning sun. I became increasingly disgusted by the messages I was reading in my news feed. My head was dizzy and my vision was blurred. I began typing on impulse:
experts. what a joke! ha!
With these words, I changed history.
Within the next 6 seconds, I received my first reply. It was from one of the head experts. I hadn't even realized that there were "heads". It read:
Expert 4: this is coming from someone who wanted to be one! don't hate!
I chose to stay quiet and the numerous replies started pouring in from more and more experts.
Expert 5: really, dude? Come on. Not cool.
Expert 2: you're just mad because they didn't let you be one.
Expert 6: smh you're such a lame. lol
Expert 1: aww u tight becuz u not an expert
Expert 9: y u mad tho?
I remained silent through the entire debacle. Not typing a single word. And I received one more reply:
Expert 3: if someone had pushed themselves harder, then he would have been joining us here right now. He's not elite like the rest of us.
She was my best friend. I loved her. We were a team. We were supposed to be immortal together.
But I laughed.
I laughed hard.
Harder than I have ever laughed in my life.
I couldn't breathe.
I laughed at the blasphemy. No one deserved to become forever more than me. I knew this. They knew this.
I started from nothing.
I was able to see through them. What they were all about. They were about more than just glory. They were evil and corruption. They were police. They were underlings for the gods and nothing more, I wanted nothing of it.
I felt the backlash and I loved it. I laughed even harder. Into a frenzy. I was then able to appreciate what amazing things few words can do. I realized in a flash what I had done. Almost the entire expert collective read what I wrote that wondrous morning.
I was able to picture it right then and there. The experts sitting at their meeting smiling and hopeful on the outside, but inside knowing that someone was laughing at them. Someone out there thought they were nothing more than a joke. Someone out there didn't take them seriously. Someone was out there laughing at them. Mocking them. Mocking their name. Their creed. Their honor. I knew for a fact that deep down, their stomachs churned with embarrassment.
Fuck a badge.
I was shot heard round the world.
I was accidental billionaire.
My words spread like deadly wildfire.
I was slander.
Words of hate continued to pour into my notifications. Long after the meeting ended. One after the other. I loved it more and more. And then for one glorious moment, I read what had to have been one of the most amazing words I have ever read in my life. A comment that read:
Mindless Server Drone Number 17: right on.
And then one more:
Mindless Server Drone Number 4: finally someone went up and said something!
I was leader
I was revolutionary
I was pen and ink
I was thunderous voice
I was change
I was glorious smear campaign
I was man standing in front of the tank at Tienamen Square
I was legacy.
This, I did not plan. "This turned out way better than whatever bullshit I thought up last night," I thought to myself.
I struck a gold mine.
I can't wait to go to work tomorrow.
[end of part 7]